Englisch Referat Tibet Verbesserung

Hallo ihr lieben,

am Dienstag muss ich wieder einen Referat halten und nachher mit der Klasse über mein ausgewähltes Thema diskutieren und da mich die Unterdrückung Tibets interessiert und ich die Situation dort anderen bewusst machen möchte, habe ich mich für das Thema entschlossen.
Nun würde ich mehr sehr freuen, wenn jemand meinen Text verbessern könnte. Er ist auf Englisch und ich erzähle lediglich die wichtigsten Dinge, da ich auch nur 5- max. 10 min. Zeit habe.
Zudem sollte man der Klasse nachher noch Fragen stellen. VIelleicht hätte da ebenfalls jemand eine Idee, was man fragen da könnte? Mir fällt nichts gescheites ein ausser, wie sie das finden, dass Tibet so unterdrückt wird etc. Alles andere wäre ja doch schon kompliziert…

Wäre sehr sehr dankbar, um jede hilfreiche Antwort!

Liebe Grüsse

TIBET

Tibet is situated in the Himalayas with an area of 2.5 million square kilometers compared to switzerland with 41‘000 square kilometers.
Tibet has long been an independent country, dating for centuries. It has its own unique culture, with its own spoken and written language, system of government, architecture and its own style of Buddhism.
Now, Tibet is an occupied colony of China.

It started 1959 when The peaceful Buddhist country of Tibet was invaded by Communist China . Since that time over 1.2 million Tibetans have been killed, 6.000 monasteries have been destroyed and thousands of Tibetans have been imprisoned
The 14. Dalai Lama, Tibets political and spiritual leader, fled in 1959. He escaped to India, where he lives now along with the rest of the Tibetan government and over 100.000 Tibetan refugees in exile.

Since 1959, the Tibetan people have a nonviolent struggle against the Chinese occupation. They have demonstrated and gone on hunger strike for their freedom. In keeping their traditional Buddhist thoughts, they always acted with love and compassion. The act of the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan people stand as a role model for all of us.

But there were also Problems with the UN…

When China invaded Tibet in 1950, the Dalai Lama appealed to the newly formed United Nations to protect Tibet’s safety. Unfortunately nothing was done, because Tibet was not a member-state.Since that time, the Tibetans have been denied many of their human rights. They have no freedom of religion, movement or education. Tibetan women were pressured to do abortions and sterilization. Their natural resources have been exploited and because of the population transfer of the Chinese into Tibet, the Tibetans become a minority in their own land.
But because of Chinas power in the united nations and also in the global market nothing can be done.

So In Tibet today, there is no freedom of speech, religion, or press and violent arrests (festnahmen) continue. At the moment there are over 700 political prisoners in Tibet
While the Chinese government argue that Tibet has always been part of China but there is no historical proof to support this. Tibetans as a folk are different from the Chinese and other neighbouring folks. The two cultures are completely different. Their languages do not even come from the same root, and their food, dress, lifestyle and religion have almost no relation.

Time is running out for the people in Tibet. The time is now to take economic and political action against the human rights abuses by the government of China.

Hallo -

Details:
„its own style of Buddhism“ würde ich überdenken - „type/form/kind of buddhism“ ist wahrscheinlich adäquater.

„He escaped to India, where he lives now“ >> besser: „is now staying/living“

" In keeping their traditional Buddhist thoughts" - „In keeping to their Buddhist principles“ vielleicht?

„The time is now to take economic and political action“ - würde meinen „Now is the time“ wär die richtige Anordnung.

Gruß
roadwayrona

Hi,

ich finde, dass dieser Text in gutem Englisch geschrieben ist (Lob! Lob! :smile:.

Der einzige Fehler, der mir aufgefallen ist:

While the Chinese government argue that Tibet has always been part of China but there is no historical proof to support this.

Ich denke, in diesem Satz muss das „but“ wegfallen, da er mit „While“ beginnt. Alternativ könnte man das „but“ beibehalten und dafür das „While“ wegfallen lassen. Prüf das bitte nochmal nach.

Was mich verwirrt hat, waren die Jahreszahlen - einmal ist von einer Invasion in 1959 die Rede, später heißt es dann 1950 - vielleicht auch nochmal checken.

Ansonsten: Als Frage würde sich anbieten „Welche Lösungsmöglichkeiten gibt es in dieser Situation?“ Sanktionen? Diplomatie. Krieg (würde *ich* niemals als Lösung ansehen, aber das ginge jetzt hier zu weit).

Wie gesagt: Guter Text.

Grüße
Heinrich

Ich bin kein Korrektor.
Gruß
kfmaas

Hi wreeds,
ich fürchte, hier kann ich Dir nicht weiter helfen.
Sorry -
LG effeso

Hallo wreeds

bis Dienstag ist vedammt knapp. super das sich die Jugend für Tibet interessiert , aber leider kann ich kein englisch. Bei http://www.tibet-initiative.de/ findest du alles wichtige und vielleicht ist da jemand der dir so schnell helfen kann

Tashi Delek
Romi

Hallo wreeds

Untenstehend der Text mit kleinen Verbesserungen, größtenteils schon gut.

Die Mitschüler sollten wohl besser auf ihre eigenen Fragen kommen, mir ist jedenfalls in meiner Jugend nie untergekommen, dass man die Fragen zum Referat vorgeben könnte…

Tibet is situated in the Himalayas with an area of 2.5 million square kilometers compared to Switzerland with 41‘000 square kilometers.
For centuries, Tibet has been an independent country. It has its own unique culture, with its own spoken and written language, system of government, architecture and its own style of Buddhism.
Now, Tibet is an occupied colony of China.

It started in 1959 when the peaceful Buddhist country of Tibet was invaded by communist China . Since that time over 1.2 million Tibetans have been killed, 6.000 monasteries have been destroyed and thousands of Tibetans have been imprisoned.
The 14. Dalai Lama, Tibets political and spiritual leader, fled in 1959. He escaped to India, where he is living now along with the rest of the Tibetan government and over 100.000 Tibetan refugees in exile.

Since 1959, the Tibetan people lead a nonviolent struggle against the Chinese occupation. They have demonstrated and gone on hunger strike for their freedom. In keeping with their traditional Buddhist thoughts, they always acted with love and compassion. The acts of the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan people stand as a role model for all of us.

But there were also problems with the UN…

When China invaded Tibet in 1950, the Dalai Lama appealed to the newly formed United Nations to protect Tibet’s safety.
Unfortunately nothing was done, because Tibet was not a
member-state. Since that time, the Tibetans have been denied many of their human rights. They have no freedom of religion, movement or education. Tibetan women were pressured to do abortions and sterilization. Their natural resources have been exploited and because of the population transfer of the
Chinese into Tibet, the Tibetans have become a minority in their own country.
But because of Chinas power in the united nations and also in the global market nothing can be done.

So in Tibet today, there is no freedom of speech, religion, or press and violent arrests (Festnahmen) continue. At the moment there are over 700 political prisoners in Tibet.
The Chinese government argues that Tibet has always been part of China but there is no historical proof to support this. Tibetans as a people are different from the Chinese and other neighbouring peoples. The two cultures are completely different. Their languages do not even come from the same root, and their food, dressings, lifestyle and religion have almost no relation.

Time is running out for the people in Tibet. The time is now to take economic and political action against the human rights abuses by the government of China.

Wie gesagt, kleinere Änderungen.

hoffe das hilft,

greets,
Solanum

Hi,
Das mit den verschiedenen Jahreszahlen kommt daher, dass 1950 die Chinesen in Tibet einmarschiert sind, aber erst 1959 die Hauptstadt Lhasa erreichten, da sie vorher das Gebirge daran hinderte und sie dieses erst überqueren mussten.