Grammatik in Englisch korrekt?

[Mika_K_157110]

Hallöchen

Ich wollte eine kurze Story in Englisch verfassen und habe mir mühsam( auf Grund meiner bescheidenen Englischkenntnisse) diesen Text zusammen getragen. Passt das von der Grammatik? Lieben Danke für etwaige Hilfe.

Grüße

Mika

Based on a true story!

It happened during my vacations at the night while we were slepping. I woke up because i heard something on the floor.
What was that creepy noise?? I openend the door and the look that was offered to me made my blood freeze in the veins.
It was hot as hell!The floor bathed in red colours like blood. I walked afraid and slowly to the door at the end of the corridor. The creepy noise became louder and louder.
I opened the door and then what i saw…

[Michael_0a5b8f]

Moin.

nicht ganz. Versuchen wir es mal.

Based on a true story!

It happened while I was on vacation during the night while we were sleeping.
I woke up because I heard a noise on the corridor. What was that strange noise?
I opened the door an what I saw made my blood freeze in my veins.
It was hot as hell! The floor of the corridor was bathed in red like blood.
I was afraid and walked slowly to the door at the end of the corridor. The strange noise got louder and louder. I opened the door and saw…

floor ist immer der Fußboden oder das Stockwerk
become ist zwar in der Regel besser als get aber nicht immer

Bestimmt kann man den Text noch verbessern, besonders die Anfänge und ein paar Konjunktionen wären auch nicht schlecht. Aber nicht übertreiben, die wachsen auch nicht an den Bäumen…

Erstma Michael

It happened during my vacations at the night while we were
slepping. I woke up because i heard something on the floor.
What was that creepy noise?? I openend the door and the look
that was offered to me made my blood freeze in the veins.
It was hot as hell!The floor bathed in red colours like blood.
I walked afraid and slowly to the door at the end of the
corridor. The creepy noise became louder and louder.
I opened the door and then what i saw…